I’m coming into my true self.
I am opening myself up to feel and live my life more deeply without fear or reservation. I’m also sharing more authentically who I am because I realize I don’t have a reason to save it for anyone or any time in my life.
Yesterday in a breakout room during our Narrative Coaching session, we were asked to consider and share where we are growing and developing. Our assignment was a little uncomfortable for me as it called for a bit or a lot of vulnerability with a breakout partner who is still somewhat of a stranger. And as it turned out, it was also challenging for this person, who is currently in her own personal struggle of a different sort.
Specifically, the assignment was to ask ourselves where we are growing/developing, to choose a person or character (past or present) or and object that helps to illustrate who we are becoming.
What came up for me?
I live deeply and I love living and feeling life to its depth. As I’ve grown older, I’ve noticed that I often hide this aspect of myself around certain people who don’t want to go there. But I don’t want to keep any part of who I am a secret, it’s part of my ‘whole’.
I’ve been feeling these thoughts stirring in me for a while, and have been thinking about how to process and share it. Our recent class meeting felt like the exact right time, so I blurted all of this story to this lovely soul. She listened and received my story with compassion and she visualized each part of this story told.
The character (for this exercise) who came to mind immediately is my maternal grandmother. She lived deeply, she felt authentically, and she NEVER wavered. She was deeply religious and pretty quiet about it around the house, she never preached to us about how we ‘should’ live our lives. She woke every morning to read 3 or 4 of her small books and her bible before starting her day. She was loving, trusting, gentle and kind even in the midst of our frequent family chaos.
My grandmother quietly lived her life honestly and deeply. The rewards she gained were strength and peace. I now realize I am seeking to know the same peace she knew.
To be clear, feeling life deeply does not mean you are always too serious or that you exist solely in the deep end. I make sure to pop up to the shallow end to enjoy the simple, light and laughter. This way of living DOES allow me to fully inhale and experience all the things. I feel alive!
Of course this means the sad and difficult feelings may be pretty intense, but I also get to feel joy and peace intensely by staying open to what is. And I am very fortunate to have friends and family who love to dig into their soul to get intimately acquainted with themselves.
Why am I sharing this with you?
Maybe to offer you an opportunity to open up to any pieces you may be hiding. Maybe to be brave enough to decide to live my life in full disclosure. Or to inspire you to practice a little self-exploration, to reach down in there and see who you find.
Do you want to explore living more deeply? If so, I’d love to hear from you.
Lots of love …
Susan