One topic that continues to resurface for me is how much we all win from sharing and hearing each other’s tales. Since I first discovered how critical this piece is to my own happiness and contentment, I’ve seen it make a difference in people’s lives, particularly my clients. I’ve also noticed this idea is surfacing in more and more research and studies I’ve come across.
Many doctors, authors, and therapists are now supporting the benefits of sharing our experiences and stories. The nine-month Immersive Workshop I’m currently attending is deeply rooted in this same idea, our narratives reveal the seeds that help us to evolve and grow.
We live in an interesting time, and so many of us walk around keeping all our feelings, secrets, worries and history inside. So why is it important for you to share yourself and your stories with others? How is this useful for you or anyone else?
If you think about our world for a second, and think about how people and communities have come together over the years, storytelling is one of the oldest forms of social and cultural activity.
When I think about the benefits of storytelling, I consider how successful groups like AA and NA have been by encouraging members to share their stories in group settings. These organizations have saved so many lives by creating a safe haven for people to feel a sense of belonging and to connect to others with similar struggles. There is some comfort found in hearing other people’s tales and knowing you relate to some or all of them.
Once you are able to open up and let go of whatever it is you’re holding on to, you begin to experience less loneliness, less shame and a true sense of belonging.
You are now opening up new roads for others who are afraid to tell their story, or others who feel they are alone in this world.
“We share with people who’ve earned the right to hear our story.” Brene Brown
What is the main challenge in sharing our stories? We often think nobody wants to hear them, our stories are our silly version of something small? Sometimes, for me, it feels self centered or as if I am monopolizing the conversation. After all, conversation is a two-way or multiple way street.
Here’s the thing … Our stories are a part of who we are, and these experiences shape our perception. How we view every situation, every relationship, and every job is through this lens shaped by our own personal tales. When we share, others connect with our story and feel safe, validated, seen. These are only a few reasons, there are many and I try to cover most of them in my book.
It’s easy for someone to tell you how to do something. Yet if this is a really challenging space for you, if you’re not ready, you may need to take it slow and develop small baby steps as you try this on.
The best way I know to help you begin is to share how I started. I’ll remind you I started with great fear of rejection. Sometimes you have to take that step anyway.
To start: Decide to begin, set the intention to start something new, know that where you have to share is of value to others and yourself.
Breathe deep (if this is comfortable for you), choose your sacred circle of trusted souls to open up to.
Think about what your ‘true voice’ would say if you had no fear or reservation, and find the words that feel authentic to you. Maybe you practice saying these words out loud to yourself or in the mirror. Mirror work has been very effective for some people.
Share what’s on your mind, as much as you feel like sharing, but keep it true to you. Even if you only share bits and pieces of yourself, you’re getting started. Sometimes that’s all it takes, is to start.
These steps are all only the beginning for you. Sharing our stories takes time to get used to, as we build our courage and confidence. And with every share, you will gain both of these.
You will begin to feel good shared energy from those you welcome in your trusted circle.
I can honestly say this type of reinforcement is what helped me to grow enough to open up and continue sharing.
Let me know how this goes.
Big love your way!
This post includes excerpts from my upcoming book, You Belong In This Room
A lovely piece and so true. At the very end of a two hour lunch among three friends, one tentatively mentioned a concern that has been on her mind. It took her two hours to feel the trust, and she was very appreciative to us listening. Very bonding and meaningful.